Monday, December 22, 2008

Jen and Michelle Got Mail!

Sometimes, when one of our readers is in dire need of a restaurant recommendation, or is snowbound and really bored, we get mail here at TableTalkPortland. If we happen to be sober when we read it, we usually reply, otherwise we tend to forget we ever read it. Sorry. Anyhow, we thought it would be fun to start a new segment called "Jen and Michelle Got Mail!" Here is a random sampling of mail we've received this month.

To: Jen & Michelle
Date: Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 11:09 AM
Subject: Where to go tonight?

Hey Michelle and Jen,

We have 7:30 pm tickets for the Christmas Carol at Portland Center Stage, and it's Adam's 11th birthday. We're looking for a place that's good, not too expensive, has burgers and breaded chicken strips (for Adam), where the hubby and I can get a decent meal, and is close to the venue?

Any ideas?


Hi there Janine!

Have you tried Deschutes Brewpub? It's a block from the Armory and has a lively vibe, not to mention quite a few burgers. Plus, they do not give children snotty looks or try to lure them into the kitchen with turkish sweets and bake them into pies, which is nice.

Here is a link to the menu:

Tell Adam Happy Birthday from TableTalk!


To: Jen & Michelle
Date: Sat, Dec 20, 2008 at 4:18 PM
Subject: How do I get to do what you do?

Dear Jen and Michelle,

After stumbling upon and watching your daily adventures as chronicled on your blog now for several months, I have to ask: how on earth are the two of you able to (1) do anything but eat and drink all day, (2) pay for it and (3) go without taking a day, a week, or a month off?
I am sincerely yours, sitting eating frozen pizza and watching day 24 of storm coverage with no life of my own,

Steve B

(that’s not exactly true, I just got done updating my wine inventory and ordering four bottles of a St. Emilion Grand Cru so I exaggerate a bit)

Dear Steve,

Wow, that's a lot of questions, Michelle hasn't had to endure an inquisition like that since she was pulled over for the third time for driving with no front license plate, which was, let's see...yesterday!

We'll try though. Here goes:

1)We actually DON'T do anything but eat and drink all day. But if we did, I would be a princess and Michelle would be a super nice traffic cop who never, ever gave people tickets for not having a front license plate. Or, I would be a writer and Michelle would be a CFO, which is sort of what we do when we aren't eating and drinking.

2)In times like these, who hasn't had to sell an organ or two to afford dinner out? Really though Steve, affording our lifestyle is all about priorities. For example, I find that electricity is completely overrated, and Michelle just let her housekeeper go and makes Mom clean her house instead. See? Priorities.

3)We are just driven girls, I guess. Kind of like our bff Madonna (you can see our beautiful friendship evolve starting here:, we have an incredibly tenacious work ethic when it comes to our "art". We don't have very big biceps though.

Now we have some questions for you, Steve. It's only fair.

1. What kind of frozen pizza? Better be frozen Apizza Scholls or Ken's leftovers, Mister. Which you should never freeze, btw. It's best fresh.

Mom used to date Jacques Hebrard and every Christmas he has a case of Chateau Cheval Blanc St. Emilion Grand Cru delivered to her house on the back of a winged golden stag. So, where did you get yours?

3. That is not actually true. I'm sorry I lied. Are you still going to invite us to your tasting party? We love parties!

Thanks so much for your letter Steve, and stay warm and dry, drinking your
St. Emilion Grand Cru by the fireplace! Hopefully you have a fireplace, it seems only appropriate.


To: Jen
Date: Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Subject: Bring me lunch


I just woke up. I'm hungover from my pub crawl down Belmont last night.
Bring me lunch now.


Dear Sis,

No way. Not until you agree to let Guinevere, my highly anticipated Christmas bulldog, live at your house since my apartment building doesn't allow dogs.


And that concludes the first edition of Jen and Michelle Got Mail! If you have any questions or comments of your own, please write us at FYI, pre-happy hour inquiries are the most likely to be answered.

1 comment:

  1. Great post! And by the way... I got a $35 ticket when parked downtown for not having my front license plate last month...Aargh.

    Keep warm! Leigh