Have Your Bacon Placemat And Eat Off It Too

Note: This is not my butt. I eat too much bacon for this to be my butt.

There are few things in the universe that are better than bacon. Which is why there are entire websites devoted to bacon, entire blogs devoted to bacon recipes (motto: "one bacon recipe a day, every day, forever") , a picture of a woman wearing a bacon bra circulating the Internet, and why two guys invented Bacon Salt, a "zero calorie, zero fat, vegetarian and kosher seasoning that makes everything taste like bacon," which a fan then actually tattooed a picture of on his arm.

I could go on for days because there is a bottomless bacon subculture out there, but my point in writing this post really was just to show you what I want for my birthday, which is only 253 days away.

Last year, I got Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu for my birthday.


This year I want a bacon lunch pail. Because it's magical, and because I need something to keep my Bacon Salt and Baconnaise in. What's that? You did not realize that Baconnaise had been invented? Well, it has. By the makers of Bacon Salt, in fact. Those clever, clever men.

I would also like a set of bacon placemats.

And last but not least, for when I need some guidance, the What Would Bacon Do spinner.

So now that I've shared my heart's deepest bacon desires with you, I'm off to try my hand at making the now famous (infamous?) Bacon Explosion, which is bacon wrapped in sausage wrapped in more bacon. OMG.


And that reminds me, I must share with you Grateful Palate's BACON TOILETPAPER, billed as "the gift for bacon lovers who have everything." Wow. -J