Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Illustrious Au Gratin Vs. The Stupid Strawberries

Even when Michelle and I were very little, the dramatic differences in our personalities were obvious. Mom would stroke my neatly brushed hair as I sat quietly reading in the parlor, dressed in an immaculate pinafore and clutching my little black bible in my freshly scrubbed hands, and say, "Jen, you are such a sweet-natured child, so smart, so well-behaved, so destined for great things, but, aaaah, your sister..." while outside in the front yard, a wild-haired Michelle, wearing nothing but a tattered Care Bears kerchief and pair of filthy red Wellingtons, chased the family goat (Stavros) around with a makeshift branding iron fashioned from a curling iron and a pair of fake Chanel earrings she bought at the Asian market on SE 82nd with her Sunday School collection money.

So I am not surprised that my sister had to turn even the holiest of holidays into a bitter battle of the Extravahamsa! recipes.

I would like to graciously concede that Michelle's Strawberry and Blackberry and Basil and Balsamic Fruit Salad was both well conceived and a refreshing dash of vibrant color and flavor that brightened our friend Tata's Extravahamsa! celebration this dreary faux-spring day. However, my potatoes, simply put, kicked her stupid salad's herbally-enhanced heinie. I bet those strawberries weren't even like, organic, either.

Being a woman of few words (um, well, not really, but just this time) I'd like to tell the ending to this controversial Easter Extravahamsa! story in pictures if I may.

The results of a random poll taken of an Extravahamsa! diner.

Hmm. Interesting, how most of my potatoes are gone while your strawberries sit there embarrassedly, trying to make small talk with the other unpopular kid at the party, Mr. Hummus.

But in the end, we made up of course, and shared dessert by St. Cupcake. (My chocolate with cream cheese frosting cupcake was better than your coconut cupcake, though.)


  1. Sister has forgot to tell everyone that her potatoes had no flavor, because she didn't use enough salt! The picture she took was a tad premature, because when the meals was finished there were actually potatoes left and no strawberry salad. Good try Sis!

  2. It is true I should have used the bigger end of the melon baller to dish out my salt. The residual potatoes were those clinging to the spoon! Also, I didn't want to mention it, but I could have sworn I saw an Extravahamsa! guest furtively slip their strawberry salad into their napkin and flush it, sort of like you used to do with your caviar at family dinners when we were kids, sis. How far you've come...